Crazy joy in pasta. Is that weird?

Truly, there are few meals that I get as much joy out of as pasta. 

Boiling the noodles. Adding whatever sort of delicious extras I might find. Spooning homemade sauce over the top and dumping sprinkling grated parmesan and romano cheeses over top.

Perhaps I enjoy this creation so much because I channel my inner grandmother, and all the love she poured into her pasta for us growing up. ;)

And yes, I made sure to write that down on my 'gift list'. :)

Mornings are lovely.

I adore mornings. They are new beginnings. Fresh starts. New possibilities. They mean a new day to love and be loved. Another opportunity to spread your light.

And in the mornings kitten wants cuddles even if only for five minutes, and a mama's gotta take what she can get sometimes.

It's so easy to be grateful in the mornings. When a soul hasn't quite been hardened by the stresses of the day yet. So simple to rest in God's grace. To be His child. Filled with His love.

Last night my little family sat together on the couch. It was perfect. Kitten on her daddy's lap, mama at his side. My heart about burst because I adore those two so. They are lovely creatures.
 

A New Perspective

The following inspired by a reading sesh of 1000 Gifts  by Ann Voskamp, and a moment of duh, it's really that easy:

I griped to Husband many times tonight about my wifely duties. If you heard me you'd think I resent this life. But I don't. At all. I cherish it deeply, and adore being his wife. Do you ever stop to think about how many times a day a silent complaint passes your brain, a mutter of discontent slips through your lips, your harsh word reaches an ear?

"If only I lost 10 pounds."
"That idiot! Why can't he think of others?"
"I'm so sick of picking up after everyone else."
"I really don't measure up."

And if those phrases don't resonate with you, just turn an ear inward and really listen to yourself, I am willing to bet negativity haunts your thoughts.

And without passing it off with the idea that you aren't as negative as another, imagine yourself at a moment when that negative shadow reaches your consciousness, imagine it spreading like a dark cloud from deep within your soul. What does it touch? Who is impacted by your thought? When you allow a dark thought to pass, when one wrongs you and you mull over their fallacies, when you become offended by the stranger in the store who neglects to return a smile, who is truly wounded? 

It is always you. It is always us.

We victimize ourselves with our negativity. 

This is my third week on my new summer commute. Watching various cars weave back and forth and eagerly try to gain at others' expense, I realized that our vehicles dehumanize us. I find myself in a battle with other cars, fighting for the quickest route, angered at getting cut off, angered at another car swerving too close to mine. I pictured these cars as people in a crowded venue. While there is some gentle push and shove to be had in a crowd, you are unlikely to see such darting and "cutting off" as on the interstate, hidden by the walls of our vehicles, knowing our faces have been reduced to these metal facades painted over with the same colors, rounded in the same shapes. 

All this to say that negativity has become commonplace. It is assumed that we are unhappy with our bodies, we are stressed beyond capacity, our marriages are suffering, our health is an unreachable feat, our spirits are wounded beyond repair.

So what if we could change it? What if we could change our attitudes, our entire outlook on life? What if we could take our happiness, our joy, into our own hands and stop searching for it in the wrong places?

What if we forced ourselves to recognize the multitude of gifts we are blessed with every day? Do you every stop to think about the tiny things you enjoy? Really consider them, notice them, enjoy them?

As with my book inspiration (all 18% that I've consumed), I am deciding to force myself to notice the many gifts my life is blessed with, and write them all down.

Because why do I complain about making Husband breakfast, lunch and dinner every day? I do it because I love him.

Why should I complain about tending to laundry? I am blessed to have the clothes that I do, and the convenience of a washing machine.

Why do I hate to wash the dishes? I am so grateful for the food we have to eat.

It truly amazes me how many things I can devalue in a day, without even noticing. I want to be a light in the lives of others, to help them to see their worth, discover their happiness. How can I do that when I can't even find my own?

I am choosing to recognize my blessings and change my life. I am ever grateful for the jolt I've gotten from Ann Voskamp's lovely stringing of words. She writes beautifully, powerfully, and simply. It seems so simple, doesn't it, being grateful? 


God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself, because there is no such thing. - C.S. Lewis

Kitten, again, of course.

I'm sitting here (avoiding homework, obviously) with a sleeping kitten in my lap, who couldn't be any more beautiful, and there are birds absolutely singing their hearts out in the shining sun. It's pretty wonderful.

And about this kitten. I love her unbelievably so. I love watching her change and grow. I love watching her sleep. I love watching her jump and play and get crazy. (I know I'm officially a crazy cat girl, really, I know it.)

I just can't help but think about our future family. I can't even imagine the love I could feel for my own child, if I love this kitten this much. (please, I understand I'm a crazy cat girl).

I've got it bad.

 

End of a season.

We're anxiously awaiting you, spring. Don't be shy. You are peeking from around the corner I see, blessing us with your sunshine. But won't you jump out and rid us of this biting cold? We wouldn't mind...



Yesterday was a bittersweet day. It was beautiful outside. Chilly, with a large dose of sunshine. Mr. had the day off, and as I drove home from class excited to see him, I imagined all the fun things we might do.

As I drove into our parking lot, there was Mr. with three other men. They were gathered around her. Gathered around my lovely little car.

I was gifted my little car when I was 14 years old. She has been my good friend for the past 8 years. That lovely little Neon was my grandmothers. And just about a month before she passed away was my birthday, and she gave me the keys to her car. So, she's been special little car. And yesterday when they drove away in my little car, I cried. I cried because your first car is always special. I cried because that little car traveled to so many places and changes and times with me. And because I hated giving away my grandmother's car.

As silly as it might sound, getting so attached to a car, it really was a special thing to me. As we were standing outside, title signed over, checking over the last of the compartments, I found a little notebook that used to be hers. I started flipping through the pages, and an old driver's license fell out. There was my beautiful grandmother smiling back at me. I swear it was magical.

On stringing together letters and such

Absent. That's where I've been.

The craziness of life has been wonderfully present. My words have been trapped in my thoughts.

There is a lovely chaotic flare to everything right now. But aren't those the times when the learning is heavy?

Life is beautiful, living for God. Every day is just another opportunity to be positive and show His love.

Husband is hard at work  as usual. Kitten is her same cuddly self, with a little attitude and adolescence going on. I have been on break. Pictures and more thoughts to come.

On finding yourself.

In the quiet times. Isn't that when we get to know ourselves?

In the soft peace of the morning.

Or in the deep dark of the night.

The times when we allow ourselves to think. To feel. To understand this space around us.

There is so much to these endless thoughts.

So much to the unspoken words.

There is beauty and charm.

There is fear and sadness.

And sometimes there are things so deep, so very well knit into your soul.

And you know they will never unravel.

And in the heart of the darkness,

In the heart of the beauty,

You know you'll find a piece of yourself.

Sunday's are magical

Sunday started as most Sunday's do, with a morning service at our lovely church. I love our church because it is a place where you can come as you are. There is a band, and we sing off a screen. And sometimes people dance. It is bible-focused and passionate. Their mission is to love God radically, serve others compassionately, and lead people to Jesus. And is there anything more awesome than that? 

We happened to have a speaker there this Sunday for I <3 Day who was  a m a z i n g. If you ever have a chance to see him you must go. He is so real and so passionate, and what he speaks is so beautiful, and so true. They had an event Sunday night and had Eric back to speak again. So, Mr. and I along with 6 of our friends filed in expecting to have some fun, maybe dance a little, maybe get a little crazy, you know. What we actually got was beyond what I'd ever hoped to get. Over 50 people were baptized that night. Completely unplanned. Completely spontaneously.

The band Mosteller played that night. They, too, are incredible. They are a perfect mix of rock music and a message of hope. It was such a wonderful night. There were tears. There was laughter. 

I even got to accessorize Mr.

And my beautiful friend, Chuck was there.

Love Sundays.

It's a lazy, rainy day.

too many exams
for my liking
in the last few days.

whoa.
 
so instead of working
I'm going to watch
a movie.

beautiful.

and not just any movie, but the lucky one, because I read the book foreverago and haven't seen the movie yet. also because Mr. doesn't like to watch those kinds of movies, so I'll give him a break...this time.

bring out the kleenex!

obviously because it's Nicholas Sparks.

I'm okay with this week being done and here's what I think about life.

It has been a busy, busy, busy, busy week. And yesterday I was just plain tired of it. All of it. So I came home and took a nap, then husband came home and of course all of that made me feel better.

Sometimes I just sit back and look at life. And sometimes all of the things that I'm doing or *supposed* to be doing seem so far from what I believe life is about. The people who are admired or respected by society are those who are constantly busy, always producing. They are productive and reach the top in whatever they do. But they are also stressed, and unhappy, and miss the little things. The bible tells us to work, but it also tells us to be still, and to love, and to spend time alone with our Father.

I see these lovely people around trying to take on a billion things at once either because they feel like they have to or because they think that makes them successful. But those are the people I see starting to resent life, and their jobs, and their families.

Even when applying for internships and jobs, if your resume isn't chock full of extra activities, and school orgs, if you can't prove that you can handle eight hundred tasks at once and live through it then they don't want to hire you. 

I fully believe in hard work, and try to do my best at everything I do, and I don't encourage idleness. But you know that question that people ask to get at the heart of what you should be when you grow up, "what would you do if money weren't a factor?"? Well, my answer to that question scared me. It scared me because it isn't what I felt like I *should* do. It isn't what I felt like this huge investment of an education will give me. But when I finally had the guts to tell husband last night, I was so relieved when he completely understood me. And then we talked about how we want our lives to be in the next several years, which we've done a thousand times; but this time was different. This time felt so much more real than all the other times. Because we are in a completely different place this time, and we're married, and I'm going to be done with school in just over a year.

I'm so excited that I decided my life is mine. When I think about the end, looking back on my life, I really want to see happiness, no regrets, my own kind of success. And it's so wonderful knowing that I have that support from husband. I truly am a lucky, lucky girl.

My kitten is a thief.

But probably the cutest thief ever. The sweet girl steals my hair ties. She loves to play with them, and we'll see her trotting around carrying a hair tie with her. Sometimes she takes one that I like, so I steal it back and throw it on my dresser. Not two minutes later I see her trotting around with that dang hair tie again! I need to start putting them in drawers!

A couple days ago I came home after being gone most of the day. I picked Bean up to cuddle her (because cats love that, right?) and normally she will stay for a few seconds, but she instantly started scrambling trying to get down like she was all excited about something. So I looked to see what she was running for and it was one of her hair ties. Is this what it's like to have a toddler? Toys become more exciting than mommy? I don't like it one bit. ;)

Also, this is now what we see whenever we leave.

She's only fallen down from there like 2 times, and it's been a while. I absolutely freaked when it happened, but good news is she's a cat and they have 9 lives. :)

Right now she is sitting outside our closed bedroom door waiting for her daddy to wake up. Sweet girl.

 

Cholate and V-day, obviously they should get married.

Mr. left on a work trip Wednesday and came back Friday night. Yes, his crazy work scheduled a training on Valentine's Day. So in all my complaining about being single on our first married V-day ;), friends decided to have a V-day party! And, oh, this was not just any V-day party. It was a chocolate fountain V-day party. 

Just look at that deliciousness...

I mean, okay, this girl will eat chocolate any time, all the time, and love it. 

Not to mention, that the strawberries looked like little hearts. Um, love.

Final, chocolatized, strawberry heart yumminess.

Thank you, friends!

Failed attempt at rice krispie treats. Blame the marshmallows!

And while those three worked, this girl and I were the support staff for this sweet little puppy.

Just look at that face. I mean, obviously she needs a full petting staff 24/7 right?

Oodles of cuddles to be had for Aunt K!

Then we ate chocolate.

Not to mention, husbands who were MIA on this lovely V-day had J pick up flowers for us lonely girls ;). I got lilies. I love lilies.

Lovely little weekend

Highlights of the weekend:

• delicious, amazing, wonderful burgers at Quatman's. Mmm... seriously amazing little hometown burger joint. Beats the chain restaurants in taste and price hands down.
•  what's even better than Quatman's? Quatman's with great friends! (At first we turned their invitation to go - then we realized the insanity in doing so. Sometimes it takes a while for us to be smart ;) )
• relax-time with Mr. and a movie. Jane Eyre - I recommend it. 
• lovely, sunny Saturday. Ah, Spring-fever is starting to show itself.
• church, as always, beautiful. It's so great to have a place to go that inspires and challenges us.
• playing ball with Mr. and Illy - it was incredible. Kitten does some pretty funny jumps when it's monkey-in-the-middle style. We found out she can catch pretty darn well too, if one person holds her and the other tosses the ball at her. (future crazy cat people, cat colony here we come!)
• Illy-bean crawling into my lap to cuddle and nap while mama-bean works

And tomorrow starts a crazy-busy week! Goodnight :) 

Reminiscing.

I feel like I've been reminiscing so much lately. We'll be doing something, or I'll hear a song that will take me back, then I say to Mr., do you remember when we did this or that, it was so much fun! Aren't I too young to say these things! I guess I'm getting to the point where I can recognize different seasons of life. I do miss those days, but I wouldn't give up these days for anything.

 She was holding my hand while she napped! *heart bursts*

And speaking of reminiscing, Facebook is reminding me of all the beautiful people that I dearly love in faraway lands, and how all the kiddos are growing up so fast. I miss our families so much. It's hard being away from them. They are all so spread apart so that no matter where we go there will always be someone to miss.

But that just means lots of trips all over the country, right? 

At least I know that wherever I am I'll have this lovely, warm, snuggly, furry, soft, beautiful, perfect, cuddly kitten to love on. :)

It's pretty much decided that I am going to be a crazy cat lady.

Amazed.

I am falling so deep in love everyday with my God, my father. He is in everything I see. He has given me new life, new eyes, new soul.

My short journey has felt oh so long at times. Once filled with such a heaviness. And now I look around at so much beauty and light and joy.

He amazes me.

Weekends are fun.

Reason number 1: Mr. is home.

And through all my stubborn complaining about how much I had to do, I went for a little hike outside in the snow with him.

He is so beautiful when he's outside.

 It's what he is made of. The trees. The earth. The crisp, cool air. I shouldn't fight him so much about going for hikes. 

Because I have fun, too. And someday we will live in a place surrounded with beautiful places to walk. Sometimes they are hard to find around here.


Reason number 2: We see friends.

We went to a little Superbowl party on Sunday. I think my favorite part was when the guitars came out. There we were in a circle with great people and great music. It felt just like old times with old friends that I miss dearly. I mean, they even broke out Wonderwall...

 

 

Reason number 3: Kitten is beautiful. Always.

 

Until next weekend. :)

Awesomeness of the week

I got invited to interview with TWO companies that I am sososo excited about and would love to work with. 

superstoked.

I'm baaaack.

I've been off the air for awhile. We've had an interesting last couple of days.

Mr.'s parents stopped in for a visit on their way down to Florida. It was so great to see them, but our time was cut short with a blown tire. But they eventually made it safe and sound and from what I hear are enjoying 70 degree weather...jealous... :)

Yesterday I had an interview in the morning that went really well! And leaving school there was even sunshine (after my snowy morning drive). So I thought, this is going to be a good day, right? Nope. Turns out I probably shouldn't drink red wine anymore (I only had ONE glass! but apparently it makes some people get migraines...), because I then got a migraine for the entire afternoon and it was the worst headache I have ever had. Ugh. I was so happy when Mr. got home because he makes me feel better. But then, he discovered we most likely have a dead mouse in the back of our fridge. Oh happy Friday. 

Though the night ended well with a trip to El Rancho Grande and yummy Mexican food!

Those days.

You know those days? The ones where you want to eat a bucket of ice cream covered in chocolate and cherries and sprinkles, and cookies, and whatever else sounds perfectly delicious in the moment? Yeah. This is one of those. I would just love to be curled up in my apartment with kitten. I'd even take some hot tea and comfy pants over the bucket of ice cream in that case. Until then I'll just be dreaming away...

 

January Date Night

My wedding gift to Mr. was a year full of once a month dates. I got the idea over at this lovely blog.

For January I decided that we needed to get to know the great city we live right next to but never visit unless we're passing by to get to Hofbrauhaus.  So we went to Cinci's Fountain Square. It's a great little part of downtown with an ice skating rink, shops, restaurants, and you name it. We went with our awesome friends, Jeff and Kimberly.

The original plan was to go ice skating, but with my limited skating skills (read: complete lack of) we nixed that idea and instead got some food at Cincy's on Sixth. Now, personally I had been planning to go all out on dessert and worked up to it for days :). So we went to Graeter's (um, yum) to get some of their delicious ice creamy treats. 

I did, in fact, go all out. Brownie topped with hot fudge, Cherry Chocolate Chip ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry on top.  

Sadly, I forgot to take a picture. It was so glorious I dove right in and never stopped.

Mmmm.

We had an awesome time.

And will be spending more time in our new city.

Love them all.




note: Jeff refused to let me put his picture up purely to spite me. ;) 

This is what I do on Friday nights.

I bug my loves.

I crave chocolate constantly

But I refuse to buy ice cream most of the time. So sometimes I have to scour and come up with weird yummy things to mix together to satisfy my never-ending sweet tooth. 

And voila. Craving satisfied. For now...

It snowed today

It was wintry white. And slippery cold.
And I had Chester the Cherokee.

I love my Cherokee.
Thank you, Cherokee for saving me today.
(And I guess thank you, Mr., for making me take the Cherokee because I would have died (or at least cried a lot) in the Mustang.)

Oh happy life.

Life has busy-ed up. Between classes and internship searching and being a Mrs. and a (kitten) Mommy I'm finding little time to spare ;). But I'm enjoying life oh so much.

Today at school I overheard people talking about their going-out plans and whatnot as they usually do. This time, though, I wondered what my life would be like as a typical student there. Would I go through the stressful rushing process for sororities? Would I spend weekends and weeknights in town partying away? 

Then I yelled in my head, that's not me! 

I'm the kind of girl that stays home with her husband and her cat on a Friday night drinking tea. I'm the kind of girl who reads both economics blogs and cooking blogs. I'm the kind of girl who loves to go out and have fun, but we better be home by 11 because I want to go home and snuggle kitten and Mr. 

Maybe this is who I am because of the life I've chosen. Maybe this has been me all along. Either way, I would never want it to be different. I have gained so much. 

I adore this life. 

And my tea. :)

 

Faith.

It's so much fun, going for you dreams. Fighting for them, running after them. And to see where it takes you!

God's plan is so great, and so amazing. I don't understand it. But it's just beautiful to sit back and watch Him work. 

Those periods of silence, where you just aren't sure where you're going, what to do, or how to get anywhere. Those periods are scary and unsure. But looking back, to see His glorious plan in the silence, and how He's been there all along, it just takes your breath away.

This God of ours. This God that holds us when we're down, fights for us when we're weak, and loves us when we're imperfect. He is beyond belief. 

We are all that we are, but our God makes us so much more. He makes us brave. He makes us lovable. He makes us humble. He makes us strong.

This God of ours.

Content.

Love my little family.
Mr. Kitten. Me.
We are a lovely trio.
       Happy.

An Outdoor Adventure

Yesterday I walked my kitten. "Walked".

I should have stopped there, you can see how well it's going.

But I didn't. And now I'm the neighborhood freak-who-walks-her-cat-that-doesn't-walk.

That's right. She just sat there. And then escaped. So then I was the neighborhood freak-crawling-through-the-bushes-to-get-her-cat-that-she-tried-to-walk-on-a-leash.

Sigh. I still love kitten. 

 Oh, him too. ;)

Sarah'sSpaghetti

Tonight I had a friend over. Her name is Sara. We ate spaghetti. It was too beautifully perfect not to post on Sarah'sSpaghetti. :)

 The best part may possibly be that I didn't even realize the connection until I told her this name, and she gave me a funny look. It may have alarmed her. ;)

So perhaps this is a good time to explain Sarah'sSpaghetti. Sarah was my grandmother's middle name. We are Sicilian. We ate lots of spaghetti. She has been gone 7 years now, and I miss her dearly. She was, and is, so special and I will always have the memories she left me with. I like finding little ways of keeping her with me. 

Sarah'sSpaghetti.

It'll be you and me up in the treees.

Well, Mr. is leaving us tomorrow for a quick trip north. I do wish that Illy bean and I could join him, but classes just get in the way sometimes. So instead, I tell little bean that we're having girls nights! Just her and I. Hanging out. I love when Mr. is home and hate when he leaves but I do get excited about my alone time. Never having lived alone, it's kind of like my special time to figure myself out some more. To get creative. To read a book (most likely an economics book, such is the life of a college student, right? plus I kind of love it...). But I know when he gets back Saturday night Illy and I will be glad to have daddy bean back.

Illy has become such a good travel kitten. That was one of our hopes, to train her into being a flexible, tolerant traveler. She is amazing! It's such a bonus when we take fairly frequent 5 hour car rides home, and tend to stay for a few days during holidays and breaks. 

On her first trip home when she was just a little fur ball she ended up sleeping in front of my seat. 

 She was so good though and slept almost the entire trip.

The next time we drove up it was just her and I and she went between crying and sleeping. It was painful. Now we're at the point where if all three of us are together, Mr. drives and I let Illy out to walk around. She'll go to the back window and watch the cars for a while, then she'll climb up front and cuddle with mommy. Sometimes she likes to crawl all over daddy while he's driving but we don't let her do that. We get some looks when she's in the windows :). 

On this last trip we were each driving a Cherokee down (thanks to Mr.'s lovely parents), which are much roomier than the Mustang we normally drive (something about a big blizzard down here, and Mustangs don't do well in snow). Anyways, since there was so much more room so Mr. put down some fuzzy blankets for miss bean and let her out and about. She calmed down after a while and roamed from fuzzy blanket to fuzzy blanket to nap. I was driving behind and every once in a while saw a little kitty silhouette. It was pretty ridiculously adorable.

So, Illy and I will be staying right here in the good O-H while Mr. ventures home. You can be sure we'll be indulging in lots of tea, a good ole' econ book, my lovely comfy couch, and food that I never get to make when semi-picky husband is around (I've got to give him the "semi", he's come a long way ;) ).

Come back to us soon, Mr.