I'm okay with this week being done and here's what I think about life.

It has been a busy, busy, busy, busy week. And yesterday I was just plain tired of it. All of it. So I came home and took a nap, then husband came home and of course all of that made me feel better.

Sometimes I just sit back and look at life. And sometimes all of the things that I'm doing or *supposed* to be doing seem so far from what I believe life is about. The people who are admired or respected by society are those who are constantly busy, always producing. They are productive and reach the top in whatever they do. But they are also stressed, and unhappy, and miss the little things. The bible tells us to work, but it also tells us to be still, and to love, and to spend time alone with our Father.

I see these lovely people around trying to take on a billion things at once either because they feel like they have to or because they think that makes them successful. But those are the people I see starting to resent life, and their jobs, and their families.

Even when applying for internships and jobs, if your resume isn't chock full of extra activities, and school orgs, if you can't prove that you can handle eight hundred tasks at once and live through it then they don't want to hire you. 

I fully believe in hard work, and try to do my best at everything I do, and I don't encourage idleness. But you know that question that people ask to get at the heart of what you should be when you grow up, "what would you do if money weren't a factor?"? Well, my answer to that question scared me. It scared me because it isn't what I felt like I *should* do. It isn't what I felt like this huge investment of an education will give me. But when I finally had the guts to tell husband last night, I was so relieved when he completely understood me. And then we talked about how we want our lives to be in the next several years, which we've done a thousand times; but this time was different. This time felt so much more real than all the other times. Because we are in a completely different place this time, and we're married, and I'm going to be done with school in just over a year.

I'm so excited that I decided my life is mine. When I think about the end, looking back on my life, I really want to see happiness, no regrets, my own kind of success. And it's so wonderful knowing that I have that support from husband. I truly am a lucky, lucky girl.