The following inspired by a reading sesh of 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and a moment of duh, it's really that easy:
I griped to Husband many times tonight about my wifely duties. If you heard me you'd think I resent this life. But I don't. At all. I cherish it deeply, and adore being his wife. Do you ever stop to think about how many times a day a silent complaint passes your brain, a mutter of discontent slips through your lips, your harsh word reaches an ear?
"If only I lost 10 pounds."
"That idiot! Why can't he think of others?"
"I'm so sick of picking up after everyone else."
"I really don't measure up."
And if those phrases don't resonate with you, just turn an ear inward and really listen to yourself, I am willing to bet negativity haunts your thoughts.
And without passing it off with the idea that you aren't as negative as another, imagine yourself at a moment when that negative shadow reaches your consciousness, imagine it spreading like a dark cloud from deep within your soul. What does it touch? Who is impacted by your thought? When you allow a dark thought to pass, when one wrongs you and you mull over their fallacies, when you become offended by the stranger in the store who neglects to return a smile, who is truly wounded?
It is always you. It is always us.
We victimize ourselves with our negativity.
This is my third week on my new summer commute. Watching various cars weave back and forth and eagerly try to gain at others' expense, I realized that our vehicles dehumanize us. I find myself in a battle with other cars, fighting for the quickest route, angered at getting cut off, angered at another car swerving too close to mine. I pictured these cars as people in a crowded venue. While there is some gentle push and shove to be had in a crowd, you are unlikely to see such darting and "cutting off" as on the interstate, hidden by the walls of our vehicles, knowing our faces have been reduced to these metal facades painted over with the same colors, rounded in the same shapes.
All this to say that negativity has become commonplace. It is assumed that we are unhappy with our bodies, we are stressed beyond capacity, our marriages are suffering, our health is an unreachable feat, our spirits are wounded beyond repair.
So what if we could change it? What if we could change our attitudes, our entire outlook on life? What if we could take our happiness, our joy, into our own hands and stop searching for it in the wrong places?
What if we forced ourselves to recognize the multitude of gifts we are blessed with every day? Do you every stop to think about the tiny things you enjoy? Really consider them, notice them, enjoy them?
As with my book inspiration (all 18% that I've consumed), I am deciding to force myself to notice the many gifts my life is blessed with, and write them all down.
Because why do I complain about making Husband breakfast, lunch and dinner every day? I do it because I love him.
Why should I complain about tending to laundry? I am blessed to have the clothes that I do, and the convenience of a washing machine.
Why do I hate to wash the dishes? I am so grateful for the food we have to eat.
It truly amazes me how many things I can devalue in a day, without even noticing. I want to be a light in the lives of others, to help them to see their worth, discover their happiness. How can I do that when I can't even find my own?
I am choosing to recognize my blessings and change my life. I am ever grateful for the jolt I've gotten from Ann Voskamp's lovely stringing of words. She writes beautifully, powerfully, and simply. It seems so simple, doesn't it, being grateful?
God can't give us peace and happiness apart from Himself, because there is no such thing. - C.S. Lewis
